Finale

Journalists on caffeine in Poynter’s new newsroom
Bright lights of New York and warm Newsday staffers
Brown rippled gentlemen without any strings
These are a few of Summer 07’s things

When the boss strikes
When the car’s gone
When I’m dumped seven times
I simply remember I’ve finally come home
And then I don’t feel…wait… then I feel ten times worse

(Sorry, I’ve recently re-fallen in love with The Sound of Music, lol)

Yes Summer 2007 is over. I have ascended back into the destitute world of living with the parentals. Broke and jobless in homophobic Delaware, Ohio. But before I begin to wax poetically about suffering from small town claustrophia let’s rehash my adventurous trek back home.

So my last day at Newsday was Friday it was somewhat anticlimactic, but they did buy me a cake, which I thought was totally sweet. The newsroom gathered to pay their respects before my departure into the world of unemployment. Two pieces of chocolate cake and a handful of brownies later (I’m such a heifer right!), I took my last steps through Newsday’s doors and headed straight to Newark, Delaware to kick off my weekend of drunken debauchery.

I packed up my car the night before so I’d be able to hit the road right after work. Ok, like, I totally didn’t realize how much crap I owned! I’m such a girl, it’s out of control. I couldn’t even fit half my shit in my car and had to throw like a ton of stuff away! I need a crash course in light packing, any volunteers? lol.

Anywho, I arrived at Emily and Ashlee’s apartment at 9ish, after getting lost of course, for a second round. Lest we\’ve soon forgotten, llast time I was passed out by midnight, yeah, that wasn’t going to happen this time, if Dante had anything to do with it, lol. The night was a ton of fun. It was a small group of friends which made the soiree much more intimate.

We played a treacherously unforgiving driving game called “fuck the dealer,” and then quarters; after which Dante was in full form, lol. A surprise visit from our estranged friend Emily (a different one) from New York and her bf as well as Sharon, kept the party fresh and exciting. Rob wore a “blow me” shirt that I totally have to buy (wonder why I remembered that lol) and we also played “Land Mines” which definitely kept Dante’s appearance alive and well, no passing out this time!

The night ended with my trying to conquer a video game that’s a cross between electric guitars and Dance Dance Revolution, like much of the evening I totally forget what it was called. Of course I failed at playing the game because I have no concept of video games or rock music. It was a little embarrassing, especially after watching Ahslee play like she was Bon Jovi, lol.

The crowd thins and I pass out on the couch, thus ending Friday night. Thanks Em and Ash for showing me an amazing time!!! I miss you tons already!

I leave Delaware amidst a teary departure with Ashlee and Emily and hit the road to meet up with Virgil. I met him, with 50 other amazing journalists, at the Chips Quinn orientation in DC last year. Virgil just landed a job in Baltimore and I promised him that I’d stop through. He showed me around his small town of Parkville while we killed time before heading into the city to meet up with Jason, Mary and Liz (more Poynter peeps).

And that\’s were things took a turn for out of control. As most ofus know from Poynter, any night out with Jason is a crazy one, lol.

Virgil and I met Jason at his apartment in Baltimore, he’s currently a intern at a paper there. His apartment is gorgeous! He’s staying with another photographer who joined us at dinner with his gf. Speaking of dinner, again in Jason Fritz tradition we ate at a Mexican restaurant, the highlight of which was the bad service and large flies that kept flying in my drink! But the food was f-ing amazing.

A Sangria and two Margaritas later Dante was slightly poking at the surface, so we headed back to Jason\’s place to do a little pre-partying before hitting up the town for some fun. A coffee mug filled with a Screwdriver, containing a splash of orange juice, sent me over the edge. Mary and Liz were giggling incessantly at this point and I of course joined in. Virgil became the hero of the night and took the wheel, while Jason directed us to an Emo bar I forget the name of. But it really doesn’t matter because, though filled with some gorgeous emo gays and their loyal fag hags, the hideous band blaring in the back room quickly became a buzz kill. So Jason made me down a Long Island Iced Tea (yes down! I hate you Jason, just fyi, lol) so we could leave.

So at this point let’s just say Dwayne no longer existed, lol. Dante linked arms with Liz and Mary and we headed about 30 blocks (it was more like six, but so felt like 30) to Grand Central, a gay bar in the heart of downtown Baltimore. And this is where things get “interesting.”

So let me paint the setting. The bar was cut into two parts, on one side was the regular bar, copiously filled with a horde of scrumptious men. A back room opened up into a technicholored dance parlor, but it came with a $6 cover and it was “emo rock night” so we deftly declined. (What was with the emo in Baltimore on Saturday???) Whatevs, so we decided to make our own little dance floor in the bar area. Ok, sadly I must admit I have no idea what I was drinking at this point. I think I bought Jason and I a drink, but I do remember buying Virigl a water, but yeah, anywayz…

So, like I said, things got “interesting.” In my drunken stupor I turned around and started flirting with this hunky guy sitting at the table next to us. His name was Heracio and he was working on his graduate degree at John Hopkins. He was also from Argentina and had the most gorgeous accent I’ve ever heard. He was with a group of friends, so Virgil played an amazing wing man and kept Heracio’s buddy occupied while I made my move, which proved disastrous.

Jason’s inebriation led to a raunchy Spanish lesson which led to me asking if the guy wanted to have sex in Spanish (yeah, thanks Jason). Then after about a half an hour of layin down my A-game I was brutally rebuffed when he abruptly decided to leave. Still holding on a last wisp of hope I gave my number to his friend hoping he’d relay the message. Oh well, se la vie.

We, well I guess just I, took the six block walk of shame, but not before one last hurrah. Jason took us to another nameless bar for one last drink before heading back to his apartment. Liz, Mary and I strutted down street a few paces behind the “men” who chatted ahead, once at the bar, the evening was capped with another Screwdriver.

Of course I had to have been outdone. Mary definitely showed me how to do the damn thing when she rolled up on a hottie herself landing his number and the whole nine. Out of control right. Of course after rounding home seven times this summer I strike out on my last night. But go ahead wit yo bad self Mary, I ain’t hatin’ lol.

Sunday was spent sleeping off a vicious hangover. A night of chill TV and an introduction to the movie “Leaving Las Vegas” (f-ing amazing) was spent in Jason’s apartment. A long hard seven-hour haul on the open road Monday followed a long awaited reunion with my full-sized bed, lol. And a day of house hopping to reacquaint my friends with my newly full-figured self (I’m soo hitting the thigh-master like tomorrow) leads me to you, typing as my friend drives us to Wally World. (Oh god I just called it Wally World I’m soo back in Delaware, lol.)

So thus ends the Dwayne and Dante Excellent Adventure. Roughly 3,000 miles, a dozen tanks of gas, six trips to Manhattan, seven guys, forty new friends, a car stolen, a car found, a car stranded, a car accident and about $6,000. I think that pretty much sums it up. Now another chapter awaits. The job hunt and then the “real world.” Two much more daunting and crazy stressful adventures. Bring it on bitches! If I can handle this summer, I can handle anything.

And that’s all she wrote.

Cue bow. Cue curtain. Fade (not cut) to black. (This ain’t the Sopranos, lol)

~D.A. Steward

Approaching Adieu

This weekend marked my last on Long Island and in true Dwayne/Dante style I spent the last moments of it sipping a Long Island ice tea amongst amateur strippers, lol.

My last full week in New York, unlike weeks prior, was relaxed, chill, non-stressful and with no interruptions from Lucifer (my car).

The week at work was fairly smooth. I was working on four stories at once, as Friday drew near, but after beating deadline after nearly totaling my car and being stranded in Harlem at 2 a.m., I had no issues handling it. However, my first Newsday correction was printed this week, further debasing my own judgments of my journalistic credibility. If anything, my experience here has taught me that a smaller newsroom might be a better fit for me, so I might hash out the basics seemingly missing from my artistic repertoire.

To celebrate my departure Jeremy and I decided to road-trip-it to Montclair, NJ to visit oft mentioned fellow Poynter grad Shoshanna. Upon arrival to pick me up at the dorms, Jeremy, noticeably wincing, casually mentioned that he’d just pulled a muscle in his back while working out. Also causally noticing the change of his physique over the summer, ;- ) I neglected to take up too much concern after he promised he was fine. It wasn’t until he was doubled over in Shonnie’s (a parent-deemed nickname) that my usually nonexistent motherly instincts surfaced. Jeremy is a true trooper. He winced and limped through the entire night and morning for Shosh and I, never accepting my or Shosh’s offer to take him home or to an emergency room, showing him to be a true pal. I’m gonna miss you J.!

Okay, I must pause for a second to describe the amazingness that is Shoshanna’s house. It was like Pleasantville meets Rodeo Drive. Simply out of control! I guess the colonial pillared porch, winding staircase and elevator (yes, an elevator) are not a surprise seeing that her mother is an architect, but I still stood moth agape upon entering the large foyer.

Of course Shosh apologized for her home as if we’d think her a snob. Shosh, hon, we all know that is farthest from the truth, feel free to revel in your surrounding, lol. The wonderfully relaxing night was spent on the town in Montclair and a joint effort making breakfast the next morning. (And when I say “joint effort” I mean Shoshanna and Jeremy cooked as I stood back leafing through this month’s New York Times fashion magazine, lol)

Saturday night was spent at Blanche, the less than sophisticated gay bar I chose to drink my last drink on Long Island. Sunday I spent the day with Jessica in Brooklyn. We had brunch and then I proceeded to dig deep within to pull out my, again nonexistent, macho instinct, as we both travailed in sawing off the ends of a too tall table for a makeshift desk. (Facebook pics coming soon). Another chill afternoon followed as I sipped wine, laid out on her futon, before battling New York’s rush hour traffic. All of which was followed by popcorn and the Emmys.

All is all this was an amazing last weekend. (Thanks Shosh, Jer, and Jess!) I really can’t believe it’s nearly over. I’ve learned so much about everything while living in New York. Surviving here has taught me that I can survive anywhere. After almost losing my car, my journalistic spirit and at times my sanity, I’m ready to enter the “real world” permanently which much, much more confidence. But, of course, not until after a much needed period of bumming off my parents, lol.

This really isn’t the time for me to be waxing poetic about my experiences but next week’s “Adventure” will be filled with the excitement that is sure to come from my road trip home. A brief description is below:

Friday: Last day at Newsday.
Friday night: Driving to Newark, DE for one last night of mayhem with last summer’s roommates.
Saturday: Drive to Baltimore to meet up with Virgil (Chips Quinn pal).
Saturday night: night on town with Jason (possibly also Mary and Liz).
Sunday: Driving to Ohio.
Sunday-Wednesday: Possibly a three night layover at Ohio University to catch “Hairspray” (if I can get tickets-anybody tryin to sell theirs???) and visit some “old” friends.
Sunday or Wednesday: Arrive in Delaware to sleep for seven days before looking for a job.

After arriving home I’ll be posting the season finale of Dwayne and Dante’s Excellent Adventure Yes I know, I know, parting is such sweet sorrow, but I assure you my life after I return to Ohio will be an adventure no longer. And those of you who live there will agree with me I’m sure, lol.

I know this week’s note is somewhat reflexive and slightly boring, but a quiet end to this tumultuous experience is outstandingly relieving.

Until next week!

~D.A. Steward

Bored to Floored

What it is yo….wassup?! This is D-Wizzle bringin it to you Dante style on the ones and twos!…

Oh….hey…..sorry about that lol…..must be left over from my stint in Harlem this weekend, lol.

So yeah this weekend was nothing short of “out of control.” Thursday to Sunday. Straight Dante-induced insanity.

If you hadn’t noticed last week was void of an “Adventure” update. Much of week 7 was spent wallowing in my financial distress, after paying to get my car fixed. I happily, though dejectedly, pulled the car into the dorm parking lot, and realized thought I had a car, I was to go nowhere while my wallet recuperated.

After spending over 48 hours in my dorm Labor Day weekend, claustrophobia sent me to the beach. Yes, alone, but the view was nice, and I’m not talking about the ocean, lol, lots of glistening topless men for my viewing pleasure, lol. But the beaches here are gorgeous. I laid out on my little beach towel and read Toni Morrison. Just because I’m alone doesn’t mean I have to be lonely, shit! Lol

Some more highlights from week 7…

I got to interview Dawn from Danity Kane for a story, and had another with Donnie from Making the Band 4. It was for a follow up. I guess I can call that my first celebrity interview. Oh yeah and Dawn is mad ghetto-fabulous, lol. I told her I would be interviewing Donnie and she told me to “find out if he likes chocolate cause I’m coming for him!” lol. Erring on the side of the professional, I neglected to mention this to him, lol. You can check out the story and others on my blog DwayneSteward.com.

I’ve been really taken lately with the story of the Jena 6 in Louisiana. If you haven’t heard there are six guys in Jena, Louisiana who are on trial for attempted murder because of a school fight. Much of the black community across the nation is in an uproar because the case was born from racial tensions within the city. A group of white students at Jena High School hung noses on a tree, typically a hang out of white students after a black student tried to join the crowd. The students were only suspended for three days. After black students gathered under the tree as a form of nonviolent protest the police were called and a school assembly was held where the District Attorney threatened the students publicly.

I’ve gotten the contact info for the boys’ families, their attorneys and even the District Attorney and the school’s principal and have talked with a few journalists who are down there covering the story. I think I’m going to work on a freelance project on a national angle that I don’t think anyone’s covered, when I get home. I can’t believe stuff like this is still happening. It’s just like how the justice system did the Scottsboro Boys in the 1930s. If you’re interested or want to help go to
ColorOfChange.org.

Also week 7 marked the start of classes for most colleges. Farmingdale, the school I’m staying at, was flooded with students, most of them black and Latino and male! I was pleasantly surprised to come back from work to a horde of darkened chiseled men wearing mostly wife beaters and jeans, lol. I thought the school was majority white like OU because all the RAs here over the summer were white, heh, whodda thunk it.

Now fast forward to this weekend. My paycheck hit the bank and I hit the streets.

Starting with Thursday night…

I get a call from the bootylicious Mary Andom, a friend from Poynter, on the way to her new internship in Washington D.C. She stopped off in New York to visit her sister and for a little Dante/Jamaica (her crunk alter ego) debauchery, lol.

She was stranded at JFK airport and dreading the inconvenience of carrying her 50-pound suitcase and duffle bag on the subway, so I, of course, rushed off to rescue her. Seeing that I’m so busy doing absolutely nothing, lol.

I go to get her and we totally get lost in Queens on the way to her sister, Meron’s apartment in Harlem. I literally stop in the middle street and she jumps out to get directions from some girls standing on the sidewalk (not a good idea, btw). We finally get there, park, and proceed to haul her luggage up 5 flights in a very narrow stairwell, because the elevator is broken. So of course after that we were a bit thirsty and naturally went out for drinks, lol.

Mreon’s roommate, Tana, had one of her gorgeously urban male friends give us a ride to the bar at which Meron works. She treated her sister to the free drink “Good Head,” which Mary didn’t quite enjoy so I indulged upon. Our tiring expedition left us famished so we went exploring for a place to eat and happened upon a Caribbean soul food joint. The food was hideous but our growling abdomens ignored that slight oversight.

As the night drew nigh we found ourselves back at Meron’s apartment and things of course take a turn straight for hideous once I decide to leave. I walk to the block or so to get my car and pull it to the front of the building to pick up Mary and Meron so I can drop them off elsewhere so they can continue partying. I turn off my car and hit the blinkers, since I’m again in the middle of the street. When the girls return my car decides it doesn’t want to start.

Yeah. I know right. I’m sitting in the middle of the street in the middle of Harlem at 12:30 at night! I’ve come to the conclusion that my car is Satan possessed.

Meron, Mary and I proceed to try to push the car off the road; let’s not forget the sister’s are in heels. A man carrying a large trash bag, ratted clothing with has a very noticeable twitch (Meron refers to him as a “crack head” outside of his presence) offers to help. Mary waves him over, and is given the evil eye, later followed by an intense lecture from Meron.

So I wait until 2 a.m. for AAA to arrive and they proceed to tell me that I’m not covered by them because my parents are not present. Though the car is in their name and I gave them the membership number and the lady on the phone told me they would. I had no money because it’s Thursday and I don’t get paid until Friday so Mary is forced to come to my rescue. They start my car and I arrive home close to 4 a.m.

So yeah, that was just Thursday. Friday the insanity continues….

I, of course, get little to no sleep and work is a bitch and a half. But we’ll move on.

Mary and I decide to meet up with Shoshana in the city. In my moment of utter brilliance I decide to walk to the train station that takes me into Manhattan so to avoid driving Lucifer (yeah, I’ve named my car Lucifer. Luci for short, if he’s a good boy.) However, I failed to realize that the train station was like 5 miles away! So I miss my train and get to Manhattan an hour late. My compadres have already made their way to Times Square so while they’re making their way back to Penn Station to meet me, I make another mistake of waiting in H&M. Where I spend an embarrassing amount of money on clothes I definitely don’t need.

And get this! OMG ½ I bought all large shirts and didn’t try them on because I’ve worn large for like the past three years and they’re too small!!!! I almost cried. I tried on their jeans because they were on sale, which was a further reminder of my need to hit the tread mill with a vengeance once I return home.

Anywho I finally meet up with Shosh and Mary, who is accompanied by her friend, Lamar, a scrumptious morsel indeed, and his friend Steve. We go to Brooklyn and eat at this place called Juniors. OMG they served the best soul food outside of my grandmother’s kitchen that I’ve ever had! I grubbed on corn bread, mashed potatoes and gravy, country fired chicken, and mac and cheese. Okay, I don’t mean to be raunchy but my mouth had an orgasm. I’m so not lying.

After dinner Shosh had to run to catch her train, which she almost missed because of my lateness pushing back the evening. Just like a stereotypical queen to be crazy late! Steve also left to catch his train and then we parted ways with Lamar in Times Square to head to Union Square to meet Meron at a bar.

So we get to this bar, The Coffee Shop, and Meron is hugged up on some cutie buyin her drinks. And get this! They won’t let me into the lounge downstairs where they are because I’m wearing sneakers! Out of control, right. I had on a collarded shirt and my best jeans .There were dudes in t-shirts and torn jeans, and just cause they were wearin timberlands they were given entry! Totally re-COCK-ulous! But, whatev, Mary and I parked at the bar upstairs and proceeded to unveil Dante and Jamaica. It was too much fun! I think Mary took her first shot of tequila, who Dante introduced the proper tequila shot protocol Lick, drink, suck! Lol

We then strutted outside to a park bench to drunk dialed Lamar, and were complimented by two queens passing by, for being a “pretty couple.” We quickly informed them of the opposite and had a good laugh. Meron’s beau drove us home and after satisfying a Taco Bell craving and watching some t-vo’d Ugly Betty we all crashed at about 3 a.m.

Which leads us into Saturday….

I awoke at 8 a.m. so that I could catch my train back home so I’d get there in time to shower and get dressed. I am due in Newark, DE by noon for a much needed D-town reunion with the greatest people in Delaware. My roommates form last summer, Emily, Ashlee and Rob. But, of course, I miss my train by like 10 minutes and don’t arrive at my dorm until 10:30, don’t leave until 11:20 and don’t arrive in Newark until 4 p.m.! (Traffic was hideous and in true Dwayne fashion I got horribly lost.) Ready to forgive all, Emily and Ashlee whisk me off to a tailgating party at University of Delaware’s first football game. After two rounds of a drinking game called “Up the River, Down the River,” Dante has fully emerged.

We then head to a local pizza joint at which I have two more drinks and then back to their place where I have a few more before guests begin to arrive for an impromptu party. By 11:30 I’m passed out in Emily’s bed.

Yes, you heard right. 11 f-ing 30!!! I had a bit of a headache so I thought I’d lie down just for a few minutes before returning to the party. Well, I kinda didn’t wake up. I came to the painful realization that after not really drinking for more then eight weeks I have become a light weight again!!! Who passes out at the beginning of the party!! Really!?!? Out of control! So yeah, thoroughly embarrassed. Before I left we set a date for Dante to hopefully make a triumphant come back.

I ended my stint in Delaware with a trip to Rob’s who I didn’t get to really talk to at the party. Though catching up with Rob was hella cool, I must say I was more concentrated on his roommates, lol A couple of which were pretty good looking. The hippie-fied five-man household was a nice chill end to an extremely intense weekend.

Planning to run a few errands once I arrived back home, I left his house at six. Traffic was literally on drugs. I didn’t get home to after 10! So I finished watching the VMAs on MTV and then Will and Grace on Lifetime and now I’m here with you.

Once again…

That’s my life. Hope you enjoyed. Come again.

byes!

~D.A. Steward

P.S. I’ll be in Balitmore the weekend of Sept 21 and in Chicago Oct 17-21. If you’re near those cities let’s get together!!!