Behind Enemy Lines

It’s finally happened. I’ve become what I’ve always despised. I’ve become “that guy.”

The guy your friend comes crying on your shoulder about. The guy who is known as the “asshole” amongst the clique. The guy you warn your friends about. The evil jock dissed at the end of every teen film.

Okay, I guess I should back up and start at the beginning….

So the guy I told you about last week, Frantz (the bad kisser), yeah, so I thought that we didn’t have much of a connection anyway and that he wouldn’t call me back, so I just forgot about the whole thing. I’ve struck out six other times this summer, why should this one be any different? Right? lol

So I went about my usual business and went out with another guy. His name’s Anthony, he’s 19 and he pretty much reminded me why I don’t date younger guys. I’ve been trying to block that evening from my mind so I won’t rehash it here. (For details shoot me a call).

So guess who calls me that same night. Yes, Frantz. Below are some of his quotes from preceding conversations.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and think that we could be together long term.”

“I’ve really started to fall for you.”

“I’d wait for you to come back.” (After telling him I’m heading back to Ohio.)

So I’m thinking, is this guy for real? I mean we went on one date. Which ended a little more intimately then I care to admit, but still. So I’m thinking this guy is insane, but I have to admit, I’m liking the attention. I mean all of the guys I’ve dated in the past have pretty much been the typical jerks who don’t ever want to commit. So I continue to humor his interest, which makes me a horrible person I know. (I’ve already been told this by numerous friends, so you don’t have to, lol.)

Okay, so here’s the problem. Besides being a bad kisser, the guy is completely unconfident, socially awkward, no sense of adventure, would rather sit at home then go out on the town, not at all attractive and he’s also very immature.

But of course the above sounds like I’m being a snobbish bitch and judging him. Which is mostly true, lol, but there’s nothing about him that I’m attracted to. Which is what’s killing me. He’s a hella nice guy who treats me right. (After our date yesterday he called me after dropping me off to see if I had gotten up the stairs to my room okay. I’m still trying to decide if that means he’s sweet or just pathetic. See there’s the snobby bitch coming out again!)

Frantz is the sweet guy that would bend over backwards for me that I’ve always wanted. After dating a bunch of losers, I find a guy who’ll treat me right, yet he repulses me. What’s wrong with me!?

So now I’m basically trying to figure out how to tell him I’m not interested. I can’t keep leading him on. I may be “that guy,” but I’m not THAT guy, lol.

Sorry my love life took up most of this week’s update. Any advice on the above would be much appreciated, though. Now onto life in the “real” world.

Things at work haven’t been the best. I’m getting a lot of work and am being published more often. I’ve posted some more stuff on my portfolio blog if you wish to check it out (www.dwaynesteward.com). However I got some pretty bad news from my editor. Again the rehash would be too painful, but let’s just say I was close to quitting journalism. (Again, for details shoot me a call.)

I think I psyched myself out. I was so nervous that I wouldn’t do well when I first got here that I overexerted myself, trying to impress them, producing work that really wasn’t my own style, but a style that I thought they wanted. That didn’t make any sense did it? lol. The bottom line is I need to calm down and just be myself. It worked at Poynter, why wouldn’t it work here? Right? I just hope I have time to turn things around. I only have four weeks left!

In related news…

I’m working on this weekly column called “Hot Stuff” where I compile a list of what people should watch and attend during the week. However, there’s no sort of editorial supervision. I mean the copy editors check it for spelling, etc. but I have total control over what goes in it. The column is broken down into Movies, Pop Music (concerts) and Television. And pretty much filled with whatever I feel Long Islanders should take notice of. I was having the other intern help me out, in order to include a diverse representation of entertainment. Now that he’s left, I’m afraid Long Island will just be going to chick flicks, listening to Destiny’s Child and watching As the World Turns, lol.

In other related news…

I almost got to interview P. Diddy y’all!!! I know right! Okay, so here’s the story. The guy, Donnie, on Making the Band 4 is from Long Island. So they wanted me to call MTV and do a story about him. So I called up the PR people over there and once I said I was from Newsday I was totally in. The lady, clicked over and got Donnie right on the phone! Out of control right. So I interviewed him, he’s a really cool guy actually. I’d never seen the show until I had to do research for the story.

But anywayz….so Donnie gets off the line and the PR lady asks me, “Do you want to talk to P. Diddy next?” My jaw drops. Stuttering uncontrollably I say, “Uh, yeah sure.” Then she’s like, “Okay, I’ll make some calls then I’ll call you back.” So I hang up with her, my hand is literally shaking and I look over at my editor and say, with a slight shriek, “She asked me if I wanted to talk to P. Diddy.” She laughs, “No big deal Dwayne, he puts his pants on one leg at a time like everyone else.”

So I’m sitting there trembling, waiting for her to call back. But while I’m waiting, my editor gets the word from above that they want the story next day as opposed to next week. So I tell this to the PR person who says that’s pretty much impossible, which at that point I was expecting. But just think, if the story would’ve run later I could’ve interviewed P. Diddy! I know it’s a far stretch, but the fact that Newsday’s name gives me that access is a bit mind-boggling. She asked me if I wanted her to get me tickets to the live season premiere tonight in Times Square, right up close with the press. Unfortunately, I had to decline, because the paper wasn’t planning to cover it. And just taking the free tickets would’ve been wrong. (It took a lot to convince myself of this btw, lol.) She even told me after the story ran about a new reality show MTV’s doing, a sort of rappers version of Dancing With the Stars, and said she could get me in touch with the people on the show. I think I’m going to pitch the story to my editor.

Okay, so, I’ve decided to head back to Ohio after my stint here is over. My original plan was to save up enough money to pay for an apartment in NYC and then continue my job hunt here. However, the $1504 rental car, the $3260 repairs on my car and about $800 in miscellaneous expenses because of the car wreck killed that dream, lol. I’m actually looking forward to a break. I haven’t had one since Spring Break. And before that it was the three days I had to myself after my internship last summer, because I decided to work all throughout Christmas. So I think I’m due, lol.

So don’t worry, my friends back home. My descent upon O-town is drawing nigh! I miss you all and hope that everyone is doing well, weather you’re in Ohio, California, New York, Illinois, Washington, or Montana (wow I really know people in all those places, lol.)

Until next week…

~D.A. Steward

Alternate Reality

So yeah, I know I missed last week’s installment of Dwayne and Dante’s Excellent Adventure but the last couple weeks have been crazy insane, at work and at play.So sit back cause you’re in for a pretty long ride this week, lol

Ok so I guess we’ll start with work and then get to the juicy stuff, hehe.

You know I just realized I’m at the halfway point of this internship. I really should start looking for a job shouldn’t I? Anywho, things have been getting a lot better at work, sort of. I had a couple of things published last week. The story about the 14-year-old blind girl went up and then it’s the 30th Anniversary of Elvis’ death so I got to be apart of a big Sunday package they put together. Go to www.dwaynesteward.com to check them out

This week I’m hella excited because I’m working on a much longer more featurey piece. It’s about Invisible Children, a non profit organization that helps kids in Uganda. I’m sure many of you have heard of it, they have a documentary film that they’ve been showing at colleges and high schools mostly. Anywho, I’m workin crazy hard on this one, it’s a little long and presenting a structuring challenge but I’m looking through my handy dandy Poynter notebook for inspiration. I’ll let you all know when it’s published.

Ok so now for a bit of a downer. My main editor, the head of the entertainment desk sent me out on a story, a brief to be attached to a larger one. Some LA Times reporter wrote something about actresses being too skinny and she wanted me to talk with younger Long Island women about it, and get an expert opinion. She gives me this story at 4 p.m. on Thursday to be due at noon on Friday.

So I go to the mall to do a man-on-the-street kind of thing and go crazy trying to find a gender theorists professor that’s actually in their office during the summer. I even came in extra early on Friday to finish. And I actually did it, found an expert and produced a 399 word story. (She asked for 300-400 words, Lord knows I’ve never met a word count in my life! Lol)

Okay, so the problem right. Well, when I turned it in there were three typos, in the lede! I know right, I’m such a failure. I couldn’t believe it. I read the story five times! I think I might be dyslexic or something. Anywayz, I got a much deserved lecture and now my editors have no faith in me whatsoever. So, be prepared if I IM any of you at a moment’s notice for proofing help.

Ok so on to more uplifting subjects.

I should be getting my car back early next week, yay! Finally another car nightmare will come to a close. However, I will have to pay $800 for this rental! Out of control right!

I’ve been having a blast in the city on the weekends with Jessica. She hosted a mini-NABJ gathering at this really cool lounge bar, for those of us who couldn’t afford the trip to Vegas where the national convention was being held. It was pretty cool, I met some amazing people that I hope to keep in contact with.

There was some craziness that accompanied the evening however. A birthday party kind of took over the bar as the night progressed and a much older lady came in, who said she was with the bday party, and she definitely had a few before she’d arrived. She was wobbling at the bar and fell on Jessica who was chastised by the bartender for not helping her. She was like, “It’s not my job to catch some old drunken lady when I’m out with my friends!” I thought that was pretty hilarious, lol. Discussing the lady’s drunken misfortune became the theme of the evening, which culminated into her publicly being rushed off to the bathroom to puke, then passing out and being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance for alcohol poison. The worst part is that the birthday party she was with claimed to have no idea who she was. She did look a little too old to be hanging with the 20 to 30 somethings that comprised the crowd at the bar.

Anywho, I ended up staying in Brooklyn most of the weekend which was crazy fun. On Sunday some friends I lived with last summer while interning at The News Journal in Wilmington, Delaware came to Manhattan to visit. We ate at this little bistro in Chelsea, they had amazing Paninis. I also sort of found out some distressing news about my sister during this reunion. It wouldn’t be prudent to share on Facebook but I’m sure you’ll be hearing about it from me on one of our phone chats. So we’ll move on…

I had dinner with Jeremy and his family on Thursday, his parents are totally adorable. I absolutely love his mother. I got a crash course in Jewish-ness. Saw pics of J. at his Bar Mizvah and from when he was a baby (totally adorable! Lol) Okay, J. I’ll stop embarrassing you, lol. But his fam. is way cool. And the free food wasn’t a bad bonus, lol.

Okay so onto the really juicy stuff. I’ve met some guys, finally. I know right. So last time I talked to you all I was nervous about a blind date. Well, he kind of stood me up. But, it’s cool because that same night I met this other guy named Andre. He’s a teacher at Sylvan Learning Center and just bought a house, which is extra gorgeous. He also does interior design on the side. He’s also working on his second masters degree, so he’s totally smart. But once again he’s too old, and a closet case.

The date we had was pretty fun. Wining and dining, then back to his place for more wine and conversation. And, well, some other stuff I try to keep these “adventures” PG13 so I won’t go into too much detail, but he is an amazing kisser. I’m not sure if I’ll go out with him again because if he’s 36 and in the closet I doubt he’s ever coming out, lol.

Anywho, I’ve also met this other guy named Frantz. He’s from Canada, fluent in French and Creole, and is all around a pretty nice guy. However, he lied to me about his age! He told me he was 23 and he’s only 21! And we know how I feel about young guys, lol. And there’s something else. He’s a bad kisser! I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life, his tongue was totally out of control!

The funny thing is tho, that my friend Emily and I were talking about this the other day and I told her, very ardently, that you couldn’t just not give a guy a chance just because he’s not a good kisser. Emily, I take it all back. You sooo can! I know it sounds horrible but it’s a total turn off. I didn’t even want to go past first base. And you know I always want to go past first base, lol. Anywayz, I probably will just remain friends with him. I feel so bad tho.

Anywho, there’s a couple of other guys I’m talking to. One is Matt, he’s 23 and a waiter. You know you always watch Sex and the City and think that’s not ever how it really is, but meeting people in NY does happen somewhat frequently. I’m guessing it’s just the amount of diversity and the population, but yeah, it’s crazy. I’m turning people away which I’ve never done before.

Ok so we’ll end with an update on my living situation. The crazy lady over the housing department here (I’m pretty sure she’s certifiable) still hasn’t gotten me that refrigerator she promised. The RAs have started to move in and none of the guys are hot! It’s a travesty, lol. A whole bunch of people living in the dorms are from overseas (they’re working at a local amusement park) but one of them has a wife that is living in his room. Ok you’re married and they’re letting her live with you, whatev, but do you have to shower with her every morning while I’m brushing my teeth!? I know right, out of control. Also the marching band has started band camp and yes I must say, while I do enjoy a little Phantom of the Opera to go with my microwaveable dinner, the 6 a.m. cadences are not cute!

And that’s my life.

Hope you enjoyed, come again.

LOL Love you all bunches!

byes

~D. A. Steward

Finally Stable

The weeks have been flyin by! I can’t believe I’m headed into the fourth week of this internship. It’s almost half over! I should probably start looking for a job huh? lol

So unfortunately this week I don’t have a compelling story to tell in a creatively enticing fashion. The week was pretty normal, which is hella good cause I need a little bit of normalcy in my life. Excitement and craziness is overrated, lol.

I actually have an actual story in the paper tomorrow, totally excited about that. It’s kinda short and not that great but it’s not a brief or side bar which is cool. It’s about the blind 14-year-old girl who won a trip to a perfume factory in France. I also have something running next Sunday. It’s a profile about an Elvis impersonator, again it’s not the best thing I’ve written but it’s a byline.

I’m getting used to the work environment, the living situation still sucks and my car’s in the shop still but I’m not too worried about it. I have a rental and may even be able to the sell it for parts and get some money for it.

On the positive side of things Jeremy’s back from his trip in Europe! So now I have someone local to hang out with. (For those out of the loop, Jeremy was at the fellowship with me in Florida and lives on Long Island.) He invited me to hang out with some of his friends Saturday night, it was hella fun. If not for Jay (a nickname I learned he possessed at the party, lol) I would have been wallowing in my loneliness in this depressing dorm the entire weekend. Thanks Jay! lol

Anywho, sorry this weeks’ Excellent Adventure was a bit boring, but I’m starting to like thing that way, lol. Next week’s will probably be a little more interesting, I have a date on Wednesday! Don’t get too excited it’s a bit of a blind date, so who knows how that’ll turn out, lol.

Hope all is well in O-town (and beyond)! I MISS YOU ALL DEARLY!

~D.A. Steward